For The Love of Edward
by TwilighterObsessed
Summary: "I watched Jasper storm away from me after our tiff over Bella. I don't know how he knew but he did. He was acting like a hormonal little teen girl crying about me. Further more, what I do to my girlfriend that he knew I had..." EXJ
1. Chapter 1

**All rights to S. Meyer for creating these characters. Obviously**

I hadn't met Jasper until I was 15, but my sister Alice had known him since she was 8. She would ask our dearly departed mother, Esme, to bake cookies to take him every week when she lived with our father Carlisle. A silly little school girl crush. She was now 17 and he and I were 18.

I hated my father for abandoning us for a cheap, money-hungry floozy. After that, I never went to see him, hence missing out on seeing the handsome boyfriend of mine before. I definitely had missed out on early pleasurable experiences by being too standoffish but Carlisle betrayed us. He loved his work as a Doctor more than his family. Well, more than me or my mother, I should say. He adored Alice. Everyone did.

I clenched my jaw against the harsh memories of my darkened past and focused on an earlier one. Like where I saw Jasper for the first time after having to live with my father when my mother became ill. More importantly, the day I succumbed to Jasper. I had known he was gay a few months after I met him, after finding him watching gay porn. I had noticed that I myself might like males, specifically him when the sight of him stoking himself proved exhilarating. Though, I had just asked my first girlfriend Bella out it felt a little weird to me.

I hated the part of me that cared for him. My parents never wanted me less than perfect. Carlisle felt that being gay was a disease. And I felt Bella was the cure for it. She was so sexual and wanted to go all the way after only knowing me a few weeks. To requite her, I suffered through her weak, sloppy blowjobs almost every day. I did enjoy fingering her though. I liked the control I had. At just a simple flick of my thumb or thrust of my fingers she would make the sexiest sound known to man. It never took her long to orgasm.

After that she would try and find every excuse to have sex. I always told her I wanted to wait to have that special first time with her. To have it mean something. Now three years later and we hadn't done anything. It was partly due to losing my virginity to Jasper. I was insatiable with him. He had the body of a God and the softest, red lips I could ever hope for.

I had satisfied myself with jacking him off and kissing. Sometimes I fingered him or gave him a blowjob but mostly he pleased me. He knew exactly how to work his tongue and mouth and in no time gets me to scream his name. We had came a long way from stealing kisses in the tree house after my mother passed. In the end, I sucked it up and went all the way with him a few weeks back. I was angry at the mention of some bastard he had given his virginity to. He should've waited. Then again he hadn't known that I would take an interest in him.

I had been an ass to him by trying to go in with out lube and delighted in the fact that I was too big for him. He had winced and quickly handed it to me. After that I pounded the hell out of his slightly devirginized ass. I loved the feel of him cumming on me and with out even stimulating his hard cock he ejaculated.

Jasper was tight enough but when that happened he had became even more so in orgasmic waves that I could no longer take and I exploded. It was more intense than what he gave me orally. I collapsed on him and I was so ashamed that I didn't talk to him. Poor Jasper had it in his head that I didn't enjoy myself. So, instead of talking to him I just held him all night.

Once in a while trysts became every day, multiple time events. I couldn't get enough. Even late at night I would go to his house and climb in his window and take him. Often times before he was fully awake. I liked to tease him and make him beg me for it. I always had to cover his mouth because he was loud. I didn't need his sister Rosalie coming to his room.

My dick stirred at the thought of her. I only wanted to sleep with her just once. It was the talk of the town that she was the best via a rumor that she once turned a gay man straight. If that was the case, I had to try. Even if I couldn't stand her attitude. I was a human with an alien inside of him. One who liked pink. I scoffed at my joke.

Tonight I was going to see Bella. I wanted to be with her first before Rose because I owed her that. She was my girlfriend after all. I felt like I was falling for her. One might argue that I had fallen for Jasper, so I knew I was at least bisexual. How else could I hold a man and a woman in my heart, want them both, be in love with them both.

My hands gripped the steering wheel hard. Love Jasper? Did I? Fuck that, no. I wasn't going to love a fag. I sped into Bella's driveway and hopped out of the car. I called her prior to and luckily for us, Chief Swan was busy with a homicide.

"Are we really doing this?" She asked me once I stepped inside and closed the door.

"You bet." I took her hand and ran with her up the steps. Once in I ripped of my jacket and shirt and pushed her back onto the bed. She gasped in surprise. My domineering side was coming out when I didn't want it to. I had to be gentle. She wasn't.. Jasper. "Sorry," I blushed, finishing my undress and she giggled. "I'm just so excited."

I wasn't lying about that. She was going to help me forget about the other side of me. I momentarily wondered if she would be as tight as she was. It was an unfair assessment I figured. No, I frowned, don't to this. Focus on the present, he's your past.

I stroked my rock hard member and watched Bella wiggle out of all of her clothing. My eyes widened slightly when the sight of her pearl like pale skin made me want to kiss it all over. I scanned her body slowly and my breath hitched. She was perfect. I had never seen her fully unclothed before.

Modestly she tried to cover up but I pulled her hands away. I thought about foreplay but I was too ready for her to even try and she was holding her hands out for me to come to her. I obliged and parted her legs with my knee.

"Are you afraid?" I asked her and she nodded. I gave her leniency and entered her slowly. She was remarkably tight and a cry of pain burst from her lips as she watched me. I slid fully into her, giving her a minute to adjust. It was maddening.

I began medium paced thrusts and she gasped, her eyes closing and she met the pace with a roll of her hips. Shyly at first but more demanding as our dance continued. Bella was proving to be a great lay, but I wasn't reaching closer to that ultimate culmination.

I had made Bella cum a dozen times and I was still going. With Jasper I had to stay my orgasm because his body, the way he smelled, felt, and moaned could bring about a raging 'O' in a few minutes. Here I was pumping away for an hour and nothing. I closed my eyes. Damn, damn, damn! With every cuss I thrust harder. Forget this making love bullshit, I needed to be demanding and treat her like him. Fuck it. I pulled out and her eyes flew open.

"But-" She started and I shook my head. Silence, I thought, flipping her over onto her stomach. I entered her pussy from behind. Sure I could have tried to get her to take it up her ass but there was no time for that. I had to meet Jasper for dinner so I had to rush now. I closed my eyes and put my hand over Bella's mouth and it happened. She came as well and damn it, it felt good. I was satiated for the moment.

"I have to go. Curfew, love." I said nonchalantly, withdrawing from her and going to the bathroom to clean up.

"You should stay." She called after me.

"I can't, Bella. Meeting Jasper for dinner." I froze. I let that slip. "He's going to be having dinner with us. Alice is in love with him." Good save dumb ass, I chuckled.

"Oh." In my thoughts I could see her now. She was sad and chewing on her sexy bottom lip. "No problem, but if you want, you can always sneak in later to sleep with me. You said you had trouble sleeping so I just thought maybe if ..well.."

She let it hang and I went back into her room. "Good deal." I leaned over and slowly kissed her, slipping my tongue in her mouth. "I enjoyed it, did you?"

She laughed. "If I enjoyed it anymore, I would have exploded like a firecracker." I laughed with her. Bella was always saying weird and silly things. She was a very loving girl and I found myself being drawn more and more into her life. I didn't know what she would do or say next. She made being with her truly enjoyable. I had Jasper of course but that was a whole different story.

I wanted to tell Jasper that I had deflowered Bella as soon as I saw him, but he was all over me after Dinner. I had to please him too. My poor dick was going to fall off. Shit, I realized. I hadn't worn a condom with Bella. I was going to pray to God she didn't get pregnant. That was the last thing I needed. No miniature Edward's for me. Speaking of I would have to leave in a few minutes. My eyes drooped more and more as I listened to his breathing. How long could I keep this up with both of them wanting me day and night? I was going to pull all of my hair out by the end of this.

* * *

I watched Jasper storm away from me after our tiff over Bella. I don't know how he knew but he did. Shit. Crap. Fuck. He was acting like a hormonal little teen girl crying about me. Further more, what I do to my girlfriend that he knew I had was really none of his damn business. Okay, I get it, he loves me but he knew I just wanted his body from the beginning.

I mean, who could turn away exceptional blow jobs and jack offs or a hot piece of tight ass. Jasper Hale would be more depressed if he knew that I had a fuck date with his sister. Bella obviously wasn't helping no matter how long I stuck it to her. Rosalie had the "magical snatch" as Emmett crudely put it. My older brother had just started dating the 19 year old temptress and I felt a little guilty about it.

After all, I had introduced them and pushed them together. At the time Emmett was dating this irritating bitch I used to like named Jessica Stanley. Another chick who couldn't blow worth a damn. Rosalie had just broken up with Mike Newton, who I truly thought was a homo, but I would never touch him. Too ugly for me.

All in all, I think she owed me and if I could make a virgin cum a dozen plus times, then I'm sure I could make an experienced pro who's hungered for me for years cream herself. I cringed. Maybe I would have to stick it in her ass because there was no way she was tight. From what I heard from Emmett freaky wasn't a problem, so that was good. She was all kinds of dirty girl complete with costumes, lingerie, and wigs.

"Edward?" I rolled my eyes, pushing the food on my plate around.

"Yes, Alice?" My step-mother Tanya smiled at me and I rolled my eyes at her too.

"Um… is Jasper coming over for movie night?" Alice continued.

Carlisle's head swiftly flew up. He didn't particularly like Jasper because of his mother. He had wam, bam, thank you ma'amed her a few years back and sired a bastard child with her who gratefully never saw the light of day. OK, that was a dick thing to think, but my father needed no more children. Three was more than enough for the selfish cad.

"No, I don't think so." I looked at my father, then back to Alice. "So, are you planning on taking the poor little virgin's cherry stem to finally get yours popped? Yup, he's never been with a girl. He's too shy." My father reprimanded me with a stern kick to my shin. Fucking hell. My eyes shot daggers to him across the table. My hand tightened around my fork as I rubbed the pain away. My sister looked apologetically at me and blushed. "What the fuck is your problem, Carlisle?" I grated out.

"You will not speak inappropriately to her or any one else while you are living under my roof. Do I have to remind you that I can kick you out on the street?" He looked at me with distaste.

"No you don't." I growled. "Sorry, DAD."

"Don't argue you two, please." Tanya pushed.

"Dad, it's okay. Edward and I pick with each other all of the time." I watched my sperm donor smile at Alice.

"Ok, hunny." He patted her hand and then looked at me again before turning downward to his medical book next to his plate of barely touched food. He always loved her more than me. Hell, he even loved Emmett's goofy ass more than me. Tears stung my eyes and I refused to let them run down my face. Not in front of him. I got up, slamming my fork down onto the table. He didn't even bother to acknowledge it.

"You're a fucking joke." I stormed away before I had the mind to lay a hand on him.

"Having you for a son was the worst joke of them all." Was his bitter parting shot.

I ran up the stairs and slammed my door., I hated this shit., Why did he expect more out of me than any one else? Demanded, more like it. I hated my life. I didn't know why he detested me so much. I cried silently into my pillow. Why the fuck did my mom have to die?

Shortly after, I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was Tanya. I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I didn't hear her come in. I sat up and eyed her hatefully. I couldn't stand her and even more so since she saw the evidence of my tears. She was generally a nice person who was trying to fit in, like me.

"I'm sorry about your father. He just feels like you abandoned him when you chose your mother over him." She sighed.

"Well, she was my mother, unlike you." I practically yelled at her. Her eyes saddened. I was just as bad as Carlisle if I treated her like shit for no reason. I could see a tear run down her cheek. I sighed too. I know she was trying so hard to be a mother to me and she was put in an awkward position. "God, don't cry. I'm sorry. I know you are doing your best, which is more than he's done."

"He does love you, Edward. If you only knew how much. He has a hard time showing it." She grabbed my hand. "Give him a chance."

I nodded and then did the unthinkable. I kissed her. WTF! I actually kissed my step-mother and she didn't pull away or smack me. She actually kissed me back. Something was wrong with this picture. I palmed her breast and at that she broke away.

"I.. oh no..I didn't mean." She looked horrified.

"No problem."

"Don't tell Carlisle. I love your father…it would destroy him."

"Yup." I had no intention on trying to hide my hard on. My hormones were going ape shit. Fuck, the woman was in her 40's. Not my type, so what was going on? She scooted off my bed and rushed away. Heh. This was getting better and better. I reached to my drawer and pulled out my darts. One by one I threw them and with a thud they landed on Carlisle's face in our family portrait. "Bull's-eye."

* * *

After that I became a total creeper. I couldn't get her out of my mind. I think it was more of the fact that I wanted to pay Carlisle back for humiliating me. What better way to try out a Cougar than with a dose of revenge. I was turning into a manwhore now a days, but I was trying to figure out what I was. Ok, no way was I straight, who was I kidding. Let's just say I was bi-curious. I think I preferred women over men or was I just using them for a cover?

The questioning stopped when I walked into the laundry room and I saw Tanya bent over getting clothes out of the dryer. Perfect opportunities always presented themselves. I walked up behind her and squeezed her ass. She straightened and I pressed her up against the washing machine, rubbing my hard on into her.

"Carlisle, I thought you left for work? As you can see I am pretty busy." She stifled a giggle, I chuckled and she stiffened. The asshole was coming out of me again. She tried to turn around but I stopped her. "Oh, Edward, stop that, please."

My hand ran up her inner right leg and under her dress. I didn't miss the slight shiver this caused her. I didn't stop until my hand rested on her panties. Not surprising that she was damp there. My finger slipped beneath the flimsy material and into her, moving back and forth. She tried to push away from the dryer but that only made my finger enter her deeper.

"Edward, that is enough. I love your father. We can't. Stop this instant."

"You know you want me, Tanya. Admit it. I see how you look at me. Why else would you always come check on me?" I whispered in her ear. She blushed when I backed away, turning her around to me. I was bluffing of course but my hunch told me I might be right. She looked down at her feet.

"How long have you known?"

I thought for a second. "Since last year when I started working out. Your interest peaked. You always brought me a snack or handed me a towel when I was sweating. You always were there to give me something to drink. You catered to me. Is that why Carlisle hates me? He knows you want his son."

She didn't have to say it. My father was jealous on top of everything else. Well fine, I'll give him more to squirm over. I picked Tanya up and placed her on top of the dryer, just barely on the edge. She didn't try to stop me which shocked me some. A smirk made it's way onto my face. I began kissing down her neck while trying to unbuckle my belt. She was holding onto my shoulders, waiting for what she wanted.

My hard on throbbed but only because of a brief thought of Jasper. He was a sneaky fucker. Always in my head, no matter what. Forcing me to use these poor women to forget him. By the time I dropped my pants I was angry. I forced between her legs and shoved inside of her. My arms wrapped around her to steady her as I continued my brutal pumps. I unbuttoned the top of her dress and lifted up her bra. She had the perkiest real breasts I had ever seen.

"Please, Edward. This…wrong." She squealed when I hit her g-spot.

"Don't make me stop. I don't want to." I pleaded with her. "Damage is done, might as well let me finish it."


	2. Chapter 2

I reached between us and massaged her clit. She came to life then. Her nails dug into my shoulders and in no time I had her mewing like a cat. When she came, she was loud and she pulled my head down to her chest and I sucked on her nipples to prolong it. Again a flash of Jasper doing the same popped into my head and it sent me into such a mind blowing orgasm that my knees almost buckled.

I pulled out of her and leaned back against the wall, eyes closed. That didn't help. I still had to think of that fag to bust one. I came to my senses, no pun intended, and righted my clothing. Tanya had slipped down and began fixing her own. The subtle shake of her shoulders told me she was close to tears. God, this family cried too much.

"For what it's worth, your pussy is pretty good." She blanched, picked up the basket of my father's clothes and fled. Smooth Edward, I chuckled. The doorbell rang and I walked through the front foyer to the door, opening it leisurely. "Emmett's not here." I smiled at her.

"I know that." She said pushing me aside and entering the house.

"Can't you be a bit more civilized, Rose?" I slammed the door.

"Look who's talking Neanderthal. And don't call me that. Why'd you ask me to come here any way?" She crossed her arms. "What did my brother do now?"

"It's best if I show you." She followed me up the stairs. This was easy, just like she was. I unlocked the door to my room with my key and ushered her inside. Alice walked out of her room just then and caught a brief sight of Rose. I gave her a silent warning and she shook her head and went down the stairs. I closed the door behind me.

"How long have you and Seth Clearwater been together?" The scowl on her face dropped.

"I could deny it, but you would know I was lying. He told you?"

I laughed. "I saw you two outside the theatre in your car. Luckily for you I ushered Emmett in the opposite direction. Now it's time for you to thank me."

She nodded. "What do you want Edward? I know you aren't going to tell your brother or you would have. That would be too easy for you any way. You always want something."

"I want a fuck."

Disgust splashed her face. "You aren't my type."

"I guess big, hairy dumb oxen are. Or Mike and Seth?" I heartily laughed. "Fine, I will just tell Emmett."

"Whatever. Let's just get this over with."

"No, love. You have to want it." I stepped closer to her grabbing my crotch.

"God, you are such an ass. I have no idea why any one would want to fuck you honestly. It makes no difference to me if you fuck me with your baby dick or not. I won't feel shit." She shrugged, but I saw she did care. The bite was taken out of her words despite the harshness of them.

The thought of her being Jasper's twin made me hard again. Hell, she was Jasper with boobs. Yes, I was betraying my brother, but this was my only chance. Besides he swooped in on Jessica when I just started to like her. Ok, she was sloppy at blow jobs too and we were 13 but that wasn't the point.

I briefly felt a sense of guilt when Rosalie stood up and started to unclothe me. She placed fleeting kisses along my chest and stomach. A pearl of pre-cum glistened on the head of my cock when she pulled down my pants. Her tongue flicked out to taste it. I closed my eyes and lolled my head back when she deep throated me. They were twins for a reason. Holy shit. My hand rested on the top of her head.

Rose's mouth on my cock did wonders. My leg trembled when she swirled her tongue around my mushroom tip and then sucked on it. My hand fisted in her hair but she pried them off. I rolled my eyes as I watched her. Girls. I thrust my hips and pushed all of me into her warm mouth again. Her eyes shot up to mine. Fine, we will do it her way..for now.

She wasn't as good as Jasper but she was a very, very close second. I closed my eyes and pretended it was him. A small whimper pushed past my lips before I could stop it. My eyes snapped to hers and I saw a glint of amusement. I feigned indifference and clenched my fist. Why the fuck did I do that? I just left a huge chunk of my manhood on the floor. For fucks sake, it's true. She could turn a gay man straight.

Before long I was holding her head against her will and thrusting into her mouth with reckless abandon until I started to cum. Her nails dug into my hands, hurting so badly I let go. I popped out of her mouth right before I blew my load all over the floor and partly on her face. She squealed and ran to my bathroom. I chuckled. You would think such a skank like her would be used to cum by now. I cleaned up with tissues and stared at my still hard cock. What was it playing at?

"Don't you ever do that again, Cullen! I don't swallow and I don't like nasty shit on my face." She threw her used towel in my face. I whipped it to the floor and grabbed my cell.

"Hey Emmett, you got a moment?" Rosalie's eyes panicked and she looked at me.

"_Hey bro, wassup?" _

"Can you bring home some lobster and steak when you come home? I was going to make surf and turf for dinner."

"_No problemo, bro. I got batting practice so I won't be able to get it until 5."_

"Is good enough for me. See you then."

"_Ciao." _I hung up with him. Two hours.

"You are an asshole, Edward."

"Tell me something I don't know. You like it." Her eyes darkened in anger but she stripped off her clothes and then reached in her purse for condoms.

"There's no way I'm fucking you with out one of these. I don't know who or what you've been into." She rolled it down over me and I snickered.

"Where's your full body condom, slut?" She ignored my taunt.

Rosalie's body was one of the best I had the privilege of seeing nude. She had an hour glass shape with large, perky breasts, tapered waist, and child bearing hips. Everything about her was perfect. Even her muff. It wasn't completely bare, but held a quaint trimmed landing strip. I licked my lips. This was what Jasper would look like if he had been born female.

She straddled my lap and with no sweetness about it, slid down on me. Dear God in heaven, how the hell did she feel this good? It must have shown on my face because she replied. What the hell were 'Kegles'? Whatever that shit was thank you for who ever invented it. Her hands ran up and down my chest as she lifted up and dropped. Slowly at first but building.

She was panting softly and a shiver ran down my spine. She looked so very beautiful above me. The sunlight from the window made her hair glow like a halo. She was no angel though. I wasn't paying any real attention to her but more on how she made me feel. My mind started to drift the closer I pushed to the end. My toes tingled and I felt the warm wave rising. Above me I heard Rosalie go and I burst in a zillion pieces. We had both meant to be quiet but it didn't pan out that way,.

"Jasper." I moaned. Shit. I froze and above me Rose laughed.

"Oh my. _You _like Jasper?" She exclaimed. I pushed her off me and threw the condom in the trash.

"No! I was meaning to say that he might be here soon and we can't be caught like this." I swung my legs to the side of the bed and stood.

"Uh huh." She didn't believe me one bit. I turned away from her prying eyes and put on my clothing. "How long have you been fucking my gay brother?"

"I haven't."

"Ha. You know you are and I should tell everyone about it. You're the _straight_ man he's always talking about." I whipped around and flipped the nightstand over in my anger. I grabbed her wrist and pulled her to me.

"Listen to me you little diseased whore. You will tell no one, I mean no one, what I do in my private life or somehow you will lose Jasper AND Emmett forever. Further more, disgusting slag, I will tell everyone that you are lying and in turn I joined you in a six-way gang bang and you cried rape to keep Emmett." Tears stung her eyes. That was a low blow I admit but she was about to ruin my life and secretly I knew I would never do that to any one but I had to say something. With a nod she snatched her wrist away and went into the bathroom. "I'll see you out when you are ready." I snapped, more so mad at myself for still being this way.

After several minutes, we silently winded down the stair well and I stopped when I heard Jasper's voice. Why was he talking to my sister and about what? I shushed Rose and stealthily ended the stairs just in time to see my sister accept Jasper's proposal to be with him.

"Jasper…" I sucked in air. I couldn't breathe.

"Yes, Edward?" He was beyond mad, I could tell.

"We need to talk.. Now." I looked around to everyone, feeling self conscious. "Alone." I watched my lover kiss my sister's hand and then retreat to the door. "Wait, damn it, we need to talk." I yelled after him. He had the audacity to not answer me so without thinking I hopped in his car. This needed to be settled and right now.

* * *

I laid on my back on the bed, scribbling angrily on my notebook. What the hell did he want from me? I had failed miserably at manipulating Jasper and he was on the warpath with me. He didn't believe when I told him I was gay. Well, I had to be, every time I'm with a girl the only way I could cum was to think of him. I think I only was turned on because I felt I had to be. I didn't lie. I wasn't supposed to be like this.

While what I told him was for my own personal gain, that didn't mean it was a false record of how I felt. I hadn't been with him now for a while and it pissed me off he wasn't begging for me. I went to his house a few times but Rosalie slammed the door in my face. Bitch.

I tried to climb in his window and he always had it locked. I could've seen him at school but I had implemented a new plan. It required patience. I put my hand in my boxers, releasing myself from them. I was angry. I had a hard time staying hard now. Never had that happen until now. My thoughts of Jasper weren't enough, I needed him. Disgusted I took my hand away from my semi-hard cock and knocked my lamp to the ground. I watched it shatter and for some odd reason my mind began to churn. I leaped up and ran to my laptop. Flipping it open I began to type a fax. Deny me, will you.

Damn, that was the best fuck I could have ever imagined from Jasper. I preferred to top, but from what Jasper just proved, bottoming was just as good. My sob story of Carlisle sending me away worked like a charm. I knew it would. Alice's stupid ass had interrupted, but aside from that I had a good time. I chuckled loudly, let's be honest. I invited her. She saw who he really was and wanted nothing to do with him and it felt good. Well, until he ran off after her like some love sick puppy. Now she knew about us, about me. A fleeting "what if" moment passed when I imagined her telling the world, but I knew she wouldn't. She was a little pushy but meek. But not as pushy as I could be. Oh well. Let the games continue.

**So what do you guys think? **


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you to the few of you who left a review. You're awesome. :) **

Months passed by and I abhorred this room. The tomb of my fucked up dead life. I needed to get out of bed but I had no mind to. I sniffed my shirt. I needed a shower too, but I couldn't be bothered about that either. Jasper had abandoned me. I knew I threatened to destroy him but in reality he did so much more. My threat was empty compared to his.

Bella knew all about me sleeping around and with men... well, one man. Jasper left his face out of the picture but he was sure to show that I was in bed naked with another male and plastering it all over town. My private parts and his were all over the news but no one even thought of him. He was the friend shocked and disgusted to find out that his best friend was a gay man. He played hurt and pleaded with me to answer his question, which was why I couldn't have told him about my sexual preferences. He would have helped me. I whimpered into my pillow. After that mostly all of the dozens of girls I had slept with had told there tale of how they didn't know I was a gay in hiding.

My father couldn't stand to look at me and Tanya was ashamed of herself. She detested me for my misuse of her person. She had gotten pregnant, but was passing it off as Carlisle's. There probably was a good chance that it was but I could tell in her eyes that it was mine. She even told me that she had calculated the dates and there was no way it was my Father's. Apparently I had virile sperm.

I found out Bella had gotten pregnant too and had an abortion just to spite me. In an email she had said that she wasn't going to let her child be born to have a faggot daddy. She then followed through with the fact that I was a bad lover. I knew she was being spiteful, but it did take my ego down a notch. She then resumed her life by having a relationship with Tyler Crowley. She knew how much I despised him.

Rosalie kept our secret and she was the only one who acted the same towards me. She had always despised but wanted me. But no matter how much she had been attracted to me, she didn't appreciate me hurting her brother. I know Alice and Jasper probably had help in planning everything and she would be a good suspect.

I had found a note taped inside my locker that had read Bella, Power, Mass of sluts, Alice. And they were all crossed out with a smiley face by each one and sealed by a kiss. I recognized Shimmer Sugary Plum lipstick any where. It was Alice's favorite. She didn't talk to me any more; she just acted like I didn't exist. I often saw her coming in and out the back way with Jasper and I heard them having filthy little trysts down the hall when they thought no one was home.

It led me to question if Jasper had really been gay after all or was he in this ultimate plan to bring down the ego of Edward. I was so angry with myself that I had fallen for it. They were probably all in on it. Fucking me harder and better than I could have done to any of them. I was going to be sent away for the Summer just like I had joked about per Alice's request that I have time alone and away from the drama at hand.

I couldn't walk the street with out people snickering despite the fact that I was on the local news saying that all accusations that I am gay are false and submitting the real picture of me in bed naked as evidence. Who ever shopped that picture of me and a faceless Jasper should get paid well for their efforts. They took out all of his identifying information and left mine. They had shopped the picture so well that I was even unsure if it was real or not despite remembering when it was taken.

Jasper had taken loads of pictures of me that day when we were younger. We were being silly and acting as if I was nude modeling and he had turned me on so bad when he started rubbing himself. I began jacking off while he clicked away. Those pictures had ended up on a website . We had even created a video that I very nearly forgot about of me doing the same thing. That was on there as well. The link had been sent through the school list.

I had to attend counseling in house for my sex addiction. I didn't think I had one! I was just..confused. I couldn't pay Jasper back for any of this. My hard drive on my computer had been wiped clean and my insistence to my father that I'm not crazy and everything could be proven just made him feel more that I was when I couldn't. I was so sure of it that I must be not right in the head, he had said. I must have a delusional disorder. I rolled my eyes.

I couldn't take it. The throbbing in my cock was crazy. How could I be so turned on at a time like this? There was maybe a sliver of reality in the sex addict claim. I slipped my hand in my boxers and massaged. I sucked on my lip. It wasn't the same. I started to cry. This wasn't fair. I couldn't get off with out Jasper. I couldn't think about him any more. I had to have visuals, or a touch.

I reached over to the drawer and pulled out a picture of Jasper sleeping in his bed and then the shopped picture and laid it in front of me, pushing down the pillow from up under my head until it was between my legs. This was the only way. My memory was fading and I needed this tonight. I needed a release.

My hands gripped the pillow firmly and I thrust into it. I scoffed at myself. It was a bad day when I was reduced to humping pillows. The softness of it made me think of Jasper's butt. He had a smooth and plush rear. Not too much, but just enough. Groaning, I moved against the pillow harder. I needed more.

I was close to O'ing several minutes into it and I just laid back and began stroking myself. I was finally able to do this. I grabbed some lube and fisted my hand over myself as tight as I could. I held the picture up of Jasper sleeping to help and I moved my hips up and down into my hand. It felt like him just a tiny bit. Enough to make me believe I could cum. I just needed to cum.

I was going violently now, the bed creaking slightly at the movement of my body.

"Uhhh." I verbalized staring intensely at his face. "Yea.."

I was close…so, so, so close.

Sweat began beading on my forehead and upper lip. My arm was burning from the insane pounding I was giving myself. I was almost there, almost. I could feel it. I slowed a bit to draw it out. I needed a long one or else I wouldn't feel seriously satisfied. My body's tremors turned into earth quakes as I rolled my hips into my hand slowly.

"God…yes…Jasper…Jasper..." I looked at the picture one more time and that was it.

I slowed my hand even more as I started down to ending.

"Shit…shiiiiiit…fucking hell…oh shit." Was all I could mumble as I squirted every were. "Uhhh..." I slowed even more but still stroking me until I couldn't stand it any more and the feeling became too intense.

My chest heaved and I threw our nude picture back in the drawer. I looked around at the mess I had made. I had come all over my legs, stomach, and chest. I think I even got it on my chin. I pulled out a towel from and got rid of any details of what just happened. Curling up I placed Jasper's picture of him sleeping next to me. Good idea. I needed sleep.

* * *

I was sure that I might be going crazy when I started seeing Jasper in my room, blowing me. I would wake up to the real but unreal dream every time I slept. My boxers needed a good washing afterward. Jasper wouldn't like me this way even though I had finally taken a shower. I had a full grown in beard and mustache. According to Carlisle I looked like a psycho mountain man who should never be allowed to use an ax.

I sat up in the bed and ran a hand over my face. I had to stop moping like this. A rapping at my door brought my mind into focus and I called for them to come in. The door cracked and I saw Tanya slip in. My eyes sunk and I had a hard time looking at her. She wasn't the only one who regretted what we did. Some how in all this I grew a conscience.

"We need to discuss some things while Carlisle is at work." She whispered sadly. "Can I sit?"

I patted the spot next to me and waited for her to sit. "Welcome to my room in hell. How can I assist you?"

"I spoke to Jasper today." My face contorted in uncontrollable anger. "He just called me and said that he took care of everything. Turn on the T.V. and you'll see the proof."

I shook my head no. Who cared if he had fixed it? My dad wouldn't listen to it. It was true. I was gay. Fine, yea, gay as hell. I had made a mess of my life and every one's around me so it didn't matter one bit. I was a loser. A cynical user. I had let Esme down. I had promised her I would be the best I could. I was capable of so much more.

"Jasper talked to Carlisle as well and he isn't going to send you away."

"That's because he doesn't believe I'm gay now. He couldn't have really sent me away, but I would rather go away to family than live in the streets."

"Well, you don't have to say anything to him about that Edward."

I shyly looked into her eyes. "How's the baby?"

She beamed at me. "Good. Very healthy." She took my hand reassuringly. "Thank you for doing this for us. I know we used each other but you are turning out to be a very intelligent and compassionate young man. I know that Bella and you didn't work out in the baby department but you will be a great big brother. " I smirked at her words. "It takes a strong man to step aside and not create a fuss for the good of their child."

"Or a deadbeat." I chuckled.

She playfully swatted my arm and my smile fell. Jasper used to do that. My enemy.

"OK, well, I'm out of here. Just shave all right? And take a shower." Her nose crinkled in disgust.

* * *

Every one's eye's were on me when I walked into Calculus. Some giggles erupted and Mr. Varner cleared his throat dropping his math book on the floor. He scrambled to pick it up and motioned towards the middle of the room. He nodded at an empty seat and avoiding his gaze I swiftly took it. I turned to see who had gotten my old seat and hatred spewed from my eyes when I connected with Tyler's. He was sitting next to Bella holding her hand.

I then looked over to Bella who tried to sink into her seat. My eyes drifted down to her stomach and I wanted to go over there and tell her off, but what good would that do. She wrote something on paper and held it up. It read "I'm Sorry" on it and I nodded. I turned back around and opened my book.

"Oh crap, how could he even show his face?" Mike Newton giggled like a girl. God I hated his prepubescent looking ass.

"He's not like that. You heard Jasper set him up because Edward was being a dick due to Alice. He didn't want his baby sis to date." Angela Weber whispered.

"Well still if he was gay I could make him straight. I'm better than Rosalie." Jessica winked at Mike who rolled his eyes.

"No you're not." Every one near their table erupted in laughter.

"Glad to be a part of every one's discussion today. Now can we move along past these blatant lies and actually do some school work?" I gave them all a smile and opened up my book to page 132. Ahh. A quiz. How fun.


	4. CONTEST WINNERS

**CONGRATULATIONS TO THE ONE SHOT CONTEST WINNERS!!!!!!**

**bbbluez and VampireEva!!!**

_Contest winnings: I will write a One Shot for each of you. Tell me which character you want to hear from. Also what situation in my story (if any) that you want to hear some one's side from. _

**Email me with your choices!**

**TwilighterObsessed**


	5. bbbluez ONE SHOT

ONE SHOT: EDWARD'S DREAM

_Say thank you to bbbluez for this addition. I would have never thought to include it. I hope it is everything that you dreamt it would be like. Tee hee._

"Jasper!" I kept running and he wasn't getting any nearer though he was standing there in our field we usually went to and hung out. "Jasper..wait..wait up!" Finally, I started to get closer and noticed he was naked. I stopped running when Alice appeared from the woods and walked over to him, kissing his neck. "Jasper," I cried, "I love you.."

He watched me as he laid her down onto a blanket and entered her. I looked away. My heart crushing and I lost my ability to stand. I crumpled to the ground as he stared at me. Cynically smiling as he stroked within my sister. I heard her cumming and I shut my eyes.

Curling up on the cold, wet grass, I hugged myself. He was mine. I loved him more than any one in the world, well besides my mother. I cried hard until a pair of warm arms wrapped around me, releasing me from my pants. The hand stroking me made the cries turn into moans and I leaned against him. He was here, he heard me. I took in his scent.

"Jasper I am a horrible person but I love you. I love you. Don't you understand? I was afraid to feel…My mother left; I don't want you to either." He kissed my neck but continued to say nothing and I poured my heart. "I'm a bastard... mmm… continue. I mean I didn't want to be gay. I told you. But you make it so damn hard. I know I am. I just want to be with you. My father is so hard on me; he tells me I am a disgrace to her. To her memory. I just want someone to be proud of me. At any cost and I'm..so… soo..s..sorry." I said as I came relaxing back against him.

"No..Edward…you just use me for this." His hands slipped off of me and he stood up.

"That's not true…" I denied it but now that I thought about it, it was. He began to drift away faster. By the time I got up and fixed myself he was to the edge of the meadow.

"Jasper, don't leave…don't leave...don't just walk away! I keep saying it over and over. I love you damn it! I don't let people in like this. I don't know how to handle it. Let me show you. I was wrong."

He disappeared into the trees at the edge of the clearing and I began running fast. The fastest I could muster. No matter how hard I tried he was too far. Maybe he could still hear me. I hoped..

"I hurt you, I did, and I'm sorry, so, so, sorry you were. I didn't mean it. I love you..NO! Jasper don't…don't go…don't leave."

I stopped short of the forest. Carlisle stood there with his belt. There was a silence and my face hardened. He looked at me with disgust. I pushed passed him and he grabbed my hand and slapped me on my back with the belt.

"Wait!" I groaned with double meaning as the pain sprang across my back. I was still yelling to Jasper but also to my father. I had to go. He was holding me from going to the guy I love. The man of my dreams. My heart. Even though it was a little beat up and closed, but I could still love. He showed me I could.

I got my strength and pushed him away from me. I was in the forest in no time. I did a 360 looking for Jasper. He was no where. I ran on in the direction I thought he would be. I was stopped by seeing Bella standing by a tree.

"Bella…" My eyes squinted to make sure as the sun began to set.

"Hi, Edward..." She stepped closer to me and I could see her slightly rounded stomach. My baby. I reached out my hand to touch it but she pulled away.

"I'm getting an abortion." She said it so heartlessly.

"But why?"

"You aren't who I thought you were. Who any of thought you were. You love, Jasper and not me. I heard you. Calling to him like a love sick freak! You are a freak though aren't you Edward? Just like your father. No heart, no love, just sex and using people. Abusing people, well not this baby."

"Don't kill our baby. He doesn't need to pay for what I did. I would be a good father. I would." I looked at her tummy distraught.

"You are nothing but a manipulator. A sexual deviant. You had sex with all of us, unprotected and expect this not to happen?" Her hand rested under her descending curve. She held a knife in her other hand.

"I wouldn't be my father I promise. Please!" Her hand raised and I was cemented in place. I couldn't lift my feet no matter how hard I tried to get to her. "Stop it, Bella damn it. You can't do this. It's not right."

Her arm drifted up higher and then I watched it quickly slam down and buried the butcher knife into her abdomen. My body jerked as I felt the babies pain as it started to die. Bella's face was now pale and her beige dress was covered in blood.

"See Edward… this is all you." And she crumpled to the ground, eyes open, dead. Her red hand fell from the knife handle and down to bounce against the dirt before resting eerily still. My feet became unglued and I ran to her, trying to save her and the baby.

"NO!!!" I sat up. My mind replayed the dream over and over again. All the parts that hurt me the most were in the forefront. Jasper. My baby. Both lost to me. Sweat ran down my chest and I couldn't breathe. I was smothering. Calming myself I flopped back down to the pillow and I saw Jasper's picture…

Tears came and I took a swig of the last few gulps of my liquid poison. I pushed away the bottle, disgusted it was empty and my eyelids drooped. Just sleep. Stay drunk, sleep, and just get away from ill. I gathered up the pillow and hugged it. This was all the love I would ever fucking get.


	6. Chapter4

**Just to warn you this will be a short lemony chapter. : )**

"Emmett…man, look…" I had to duck his big fist when he swung at me across from the lunch table. "I didn't fucking sleep with Rose. She doesn't even fucking like me!" Okay, yup, such a lie. I didn't want to hurt my brother so outright and so in public.

"LIAR! How long did you know my girl was a whore?" Shit, is this how I came at Jasper? I need to check my Cullen temper.

"He's telling the truth." Bella's little voice squealed. "I just wanted to see her knocked down a peg or two." I turned and looked at Bella, who was sitting down holding her eye, with gratitude. She nodded.

"Oh." Emmett grabbed Rose's hand, but instead she yanked it away and stormed off.

I couldn't focus on anything but on Jasper. Maybe there was still time to catch him. I wanted to apologize to him for kicking his ass. I needed to let him know I was over the whole thing and to ask him if he could do me the same favor. I hated to argue with someone I loved. I was also in need of some..

"Hey, I'll be back, Em. Mean time, go after her." I pushed him towards her as I started running near the door that Jasper had escaped from.

* * *

Jasper and I sat in his car, now fully dressed after our awesome parking lot sex display. I was even more turned on at the fact we could've been caught but I didn't really want that to happen. I rolled down the windows so our sex scent could disperse and the windows could de-fog. My hard on still ached. It wasn't satisfied. I rubbed it. Why does being near him give me never ending boners?

"Hey…" Jasper said, shifting uncomfortably. We had sat in silence for over ten minutes. I turned my head towards him as it lay back on the seat. He leaned over and kissed my lips. In just seconds it turned heated and I was plunging his mouth with my tongue. I tried to be gentle but this had been too long coming.

His hand on my chest stopped me. I let his head go, pulling on his bottom lip with my teeth before I moved away. He sat back against the window panting. Nice work on making the hard on go away, Jasper. I rubbed it again and shifted my hips. I was going to have to jack off or something. I went to unzip my pants when his hand stopped me.

"Did you mean it?" His tentative eyes questioned me.

"Yes, I did." I pushed his hands away and undid myself. I wrapped a hand around myself and stroked slowly. Shit, I shivered slightly at the feel and I saw him watching me. It turned me on even more. He blushed. His shyness was sort of cute.

"Do you like to see me touching myself because of you?" He blushed even more red and laughed trying to hide his own rising hard on. "Why be shy Jasper? It's not like this hasn't happened a billion times."

"I know. It's just been a long time." His hand began to rub himself through his jeans.

"I haven't felt your mouth for a long time." I let the hint hang there and he licked his lips. "But first we need to go to my car, get out of here, and go to my place."

"I can't ditch the rest of the day. I'm in enough trouble as it is."

"My Aunt is on the committee. I can get you okay again." He seemed unsure so I reached across and pulled him to me.

My hand forced itself under his shirt, pinching his nipple, and I found the button to let down the seat. I was giving up so much to let him feel comfortable. I pulled him on top of me and my throbbing cock brushing against his restrained bulge nearly made me cum. I let out a moan and he kissed me hard then. I wanted him so badly right now. His hand snaked between us as we kissed and stroked my pre-cummed head.

"We don't need to go there for me to taste you." He said breaking away from my lips. I tried to capture them again but he turned his head. I wanted to protest but his hand was doing wonders for me. I accepted it.

"Jasp.." The rest of what I tried to say was rendered unintelligible. His mouth encased me and I was lost. He held my lips still when I began thrusting into his mouth out of sheer need. I needed a release.

His mouth left my cock as he tugged at my pants. I shifted to allow him to pull them down and his mouth immediately rejoined my hardness. I groaned and fisted his hair. In turn, he moaned on me and the vibrations from it were heavenly. I wouldn't last long against the expertise of his wet mouth.

He hollowed his cheeks as he pulled up and my legs slightly shook. So damn long. I lifted my head just enough to watch him for a few seconds before it fell back with a thud. God. I was getting there. A few more bobs of his head and I would be finished.

I felt the familiar feeling consuming me and my breathing quickened. It sounded harsh and abrupt in the silence of the car. My hand shook in his hair and I couldn't stop the tossing of my head. Nor the slight bucking of my hips or arching of my back. I couldn't push away the orgasmic cries of Jasper's name or the extreme wonderful feeling of shooting out into his waiting mouth.

He continued to suck me and I could feel his throat constrict as he swallowed. He was still going and my hands tried to push him away. I was so sensitive. My body shook uncontrollably and I started to get a bit angry. I didn't want to lose my control, but I had and there was nothing I could do about it. He held my hands down to the seat and I watched him as I writhed around. It was building again.

"Jasper…god..what…uhh…god fucking…Jasper…f-f-fuck!" I had never felt this way before. I hadn't let Jasper keep going and I had never had another orgasm right after the other. We usually waited a bit because Jasper was usually sore from my size. But within a few minutes I would always take him again, but it wasn't the same.

I spurted out and my orgasm was a hard one. It lifted me off the seat from the waist up. Every time a wave hit I would surge upward again. I finally rested back down as Jasper swallowed the last bits again and still he didn't stop. I tried to wiggle up and move away but he held all the power.

"Jasper stop..stop it." I pleaded with him and I could've sworn his mouth curved into a grin around me. "I can't take it. I can't." My voice was rough from the very near screaming that I had done during my last orgasm. Thank god for no one in the parking lot. We would surely get busted.

Not even a minute and I was rolling into my third. This time I was going crazy. He had taken me out of his mouth and was quickly flicking the tip of his tongue across me, giving it an all together different feel. I jerked around, grabbing the seat's back. My other hand gripped the arm rest. I couldn't see straight. It was just that good.

My body began lurching with my orgasm and I turned almost from side to side like a mad man. My hand finally ended in my hair as the feeling subsided. I looked down and laughed with no energy behind it as Jasper found a napkin and wiped my cum off his face. I came a lot. He cleaned me off with his tongue as I lay there.

I had no energy to right myself for the longest time until the school bell rang. Shit. I hadn't realized we spent the rest of the school afternoon in his car sucking and fucking or just laying around. I shoved my flaccid cock back in my pants and scrambled out of his car.

"Meet me at my place." I gave him a quick kiss as I jogged off.

* * *

Jasper sat on the edge of my bed nervously. His face was saddened, and I knew what he had thought about. I sat next to him and drew him into my arms. Don't worry about it. I wanted to say, but he did have a reason to worry. He just didn't know it yet.

"I want to make love to you." I said, shocking him. Even when we did take it slow, there was no way we could call that lovemaking at all. I was always trying to speed it up based on my needs.

"Uh, OK." I could tell he was a bit weirded out by my choice.

"No foreplay today though. I think we had enough of that all day." I got that beautiful smile of his in return.

We each took off our clothing and slid under the sheets of my bed. It felt awkward. I was unsure on what making love really was. Even with Bella I just hit it like she was a sex-pro. When I took my step-mom it was hard and fast. Rosalie, shit, that was the best few minutes of my life of banging the shit out of someone. All those others were taken like the whores they were. But I needed Jasper to trust me.

I took some lube and inserted it via my fingers into his tight hole. I thrust two fingers into him as I covered his nude body with my own. I kissed up his chest and neck, across his jaw, and then settled on his mouth. It was slow, deliberately slow. Our tongues mingled with each other as I moved away my fingers and entered him. His strangled gasp filled my mouth.

I moved back and forth inside him gently. It felt good, making love to him. It was actually making me appreciate how tight he was and his ass was so smooth when I slipped into it. He had a nice ass for a guy. It was round and firm, but not too much like a girl, but just enough.

Jasper moaned as I withdrew and then re-entered him. I bent my head and nipped down his chin, levering his legs on my arms to widen him up. I plunged into him as far as I could, still slow and at an even pace. I actually had wanted it to be good for him instead of just myself.

I began stroking his cock to the time of my thrusts. He called my name and I quickly hushed him with my mouth. My dad could be coming home at any moment and he couldn't be loud. I knew the tell tale signs of Jasper having an orgasm, and he was close.

His legs began shaking against my forearms and I continued slow as it began to build. I began sucking on his neck and then I felt his milky white substance splash onto my stomach. I groaned at that. I didn't feel disgusted, instead it brought me closer to release but I didn't want to just yet. My hand slipped over his mouth when he got loud. His eyes shot me a warning afterward and I winced.

"I'm not ashamed of you Jasper. My dad will be home soon. It's going to take me a while to come out to him." His face softened in apology. I pulled out of him and collapsed down next to him. He eyed me and I almost could hear his mind turning. I laughed. "I just want you to get pleasure. Don't worry about me."

"What have you done with my Edward?" He asked, but not teasing. He was dead serious. My stomach butterflied when he said I was his.

"Let's try a new position then." I said thoughtfully.

"And what is that?"

"You, on top." His face lit up but then fell.

"I don't know how to ride. We've never.." Panic flashed on his face.

"Just straddle me, slide down on my dick here," I wiggled it playfully. "And move up and down on it and you should be fine. I want you facing the mirror though. So I can see me going in and out of you, and still see your face. Touch yourself too."

"I don't know…" I could tell he was just unsure because he thought he would suck at it. Hell, he couldn't be worse than Bella.

"Fine, I just won't cum. This afternoon was about you any way since we got here. I only want to please you from now on. I won't get off unless you say.. Besides you won't have to do all the work. I'll thrust up into you, okay, if you're that unsure about it." Guilt flickered in his eyes before he agreed to it.

Just like I planned.

**Hate me much for stopping there? Well, I was being a bad person and writing this during work time. So it took me all day and this is 5 min til the end of my shift so I have to leave it there. Maybe this weekend I will show you what Jasper is thinking of the whole thing. Oh yea REVIEW my lovelies. Thanks much!**


	7. Another Contest!

**AUTHOR NOTE: FTLOE HAS BEEN CORRECTED!**

**I apologize to those who my chapters seem to jump from one scene to the other, it was because I just noticed FFN didn't keep my story breaks. i usually put * or - or _ lol but for some reason they are taken out. I sincerely apologize and have corrected the problem in the later chapters! Thank you to one of my viewers that told me my story was hard to follow. I didn't realize that that was the reason! GRRR I'm going to fix the problem slowly through out the chapters but that requires a lot of saving every chapter and re-uploading, but it will be fixed this weekend! **

Hi every one,

GOOD NEWS! I am going to put up the FTLOE and FTLOJ stories before this weekend. I also am working on TSMW. I was just writing to ask for forgiveness. My RL has taken over my FFNL at the moment and that is why I am having a hard time continuing as I did before. I never write if I feel I can't do my stories justice. I would rather take a while to produce a good chapter than to just write and put something up that to me would be a sloppier version. I owe you all that follow them, better than that. I am also working on the full chapter of Rosalie Hale's story. So please keep in mind that I have a 40/hr a week job and a busy, busy, busy home life.

So to commemerate my story return I would like to open up a contest. The winner will recieve a 25 dollar gift card. As long as it is a place that I can get off a website and mail to you. This will be a trust thing, so if you aren't good at trusting someone to give your address then let me know and we can work something else out. A lot of people will feel I'm crazy but I am grateful that any one is actually reading my stories and taking the time to review.

So to that PLEASE review any chapter and by June 30th a lucky winner will be chosen! If you do not have a FFN account then please email me on here with the name you submitted your review under, what chapter, and an email address.

TwilighterObsessed


	8. Chapter 5

"I have just one request." I watched him straddle me. His plump rear teased me as he settled over my hips facing the mirror. I raised my eyebrow in question, and my eyes twinkled in delight. I couldn't help but to have my lop-sided grin plant itself back on my face.

"Anything for you, Jasper." I teased.

"Don't hold back. It's been so long. I prefer rough right now. I mean, don't get me wrong. Making love is great, but this position, I want it rough." His cheeks flamed. I laughed. He was too shy now.

"You control the pace since you're on top." I nodded. I peered around his body to focus in on the mirror. That would make a good shot.

"I'm nervous." He said somewhat quietly.

"So am I." I whispered under my breath.

Cautiously he lifted up, and found me with his hand. His finger tips grazed the head of my monstrous, throbbing hard on and elicited a moan from me. I felt my engorged head, pressing into his tight sphincter. He breathed through his mouth. The new position probably caused him a bit of discomfort. Was he sure about me going hard and fast? I chuckled low.

"Not funny..." He trailed off as he sank down lower. I fit halfway in him where he suddenly stopped. Just to spite him a bit I thrust the rest of the way up into him. "Ah shit!" I laughed again.

"That hurt a bit Edward.." I frowned at his pouty voice. I hadn't really meant to hurt him. I squeezed his hand reassuringly. "I'm not used to this position, like I said."

"Sorry." I genuinely was.

Slowly he began to rise and drop. Awkwardly, at first, but then he was more demanding and sure. I watched his butt slam down against me. It made a sort of smacking sound that I didn't find distracting. It was more like kicking up the warmth spreading over my body.

I was letting him control it and towards the end. I couldn't help but to lay back and groan. He was way better than any girl that I knew. His hard bounces were bringing me quickly close to the end. Without a second thought, I sat up quickly, startling him and he fell forward onto his knees. I took advantage of the situation; grabbing his hips and bringing him back down onto me. His mouth was parted open and then his tongue darted out to quickly moisten his lips. His almost feminine eye lashes were hovering near close, but I could tell he was watching us.

I looked as well at my near 'O' face. I was biting my lips to keep the groans down. Jasper switched from moans to panting. His head lulled back and I took a fist full of his hair. That turned us both on even more and his hand was almost a blur as he stroked himself. I leaned back against the bed for leverage, pushing up and pulling back in time with his movements. Pushing his hand away, I took over and just let him feel.

He leaned back and kissed me and that was all I needed. My tongue delved into his mouth. The once fisted hand relaxed on his hair. The shivers rolled through my body as I slow pumped inside him, filling him up with my cum. His warm liquid ran down my hand and he was letting out the most sexy sounds into my mouth. My hand continued to rub him slowly until he squirmed against the too good feeling that sensitized him.

"Jeez, Edward." His voice was awed. His heavy lidded eyes stared at me from the mirror.

"Mmm." Was all I could say. I would miss this. I kissed his neck. "I love you, Jasper."

I watched his eyes widen. "You meant it didn't you?"

"Yea."

"What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing." I sighed. "You have to go now. My dad.." I let it hang and he lifted off my lap.

I chuckled at the look of him. Beaming, blushing, sweaty, perfect. I took him up into my arms and he hugged me tightly. I squeezed him hard and looked into the mirror. This was going to be one of the worst weeks of our lives. More so, his.

* * *

"How could you!" Alice burst in my room.

"You know knocking is still civilized." I sighed and turned back to my computer.

"You are…I can't even say enough words to describe you."

"Many can't." I waved her off. "Now get out my room."

"He nearly killed himself because of you.." She whispered. I stopped typing and my heart raced. I was panicking. I turned in my chair to see if she was lying to me but the sadness of her face told me it wasn't so. "It's all over the news." She picked up my remote and flipped the stations until it settled on a reporter on King5. I watched intensely.

_Hello this is Rachel from King5 news. We are here in East Seattle and there has been an update on the recent breaking story about a horrific car accident. As you can see in the back of me, the police are working diligently to get out the driver. It is believed that he wasn't driving drunk. There was no smell of alcohol or any alcohol bottles found in or near the vehicle yet. They are using the Jaws of Life at this moment which is why it's a bit noisy. I apologize for that. _

I watched as she stepped out of the way to give every one a view of Jasper's car nearly wrapped around the tree. I gasped. If I hadn't have been sitting down my legs would have given out.

_As you can see there is little hope of survival for the driver. I have been told that he has sustained a multitude of injuries and is in and out of consciousness. His name has been released to us, Jasper Hale of Forks, WA. A young man who has been in and out of the news headlines this year so there is a possible thought of a suicide attempt._

I continued to watch in horror as she warned that young children should leave the room now. After a minute of time allowance, they showed those disgusting shopped pictures of me but blocked out my face and penis. I guess they still had the previous vid because Jasper had destroyed those photos. Another clip followed by his statement on how he was being vindictive and none of it was true. Then they showed my nail in the coffin video of Jasper having sex with an unnamed male. My face was blurred because that was how I submitted the video and a black blot covered my privates. I sighed.

"Turn it off."

_Now, they have cut Mr. Hale out of the car and are transporting him to Harborview Medical Center where he will be put in the ICU most likely. He reportedly stopped breathing but was helped by the Paramedics in record time so hopefully his condition won't change unless for the better. There was no alcohol found in the car. Well, that's it for this breaking news story I'm wishing Mr. Hale luck, back to you Andrew. _

Because she refused to turn it off I got up and in a rage chucked my chair at it, busting the screen like in the movies. I grabbed my jacket and pushed her out of the way. I had to go to the hospital. It was going to be the longest two and a half drive of my life. Carlisle looked up from his paper and shook his head at me. For once he didn't say anything. I was grateful for that because I didn't want to have killed two people. Actually, I didn't want to have killed one.

I was going to speed all the way there. Maybe I could make it in one and a half hours, or end up wrapped around a tree too. It would be what I deserved to have done to me. I hated my life so much at this moment. Why did I never know when to end a feud? I had the perfect chance but since my pride was hurt I had to do it to him too.

Pride? All this because of something so stupid.

* * *

I stood at the window and I watched Jasper. His eyes were closed. He had so many tubes and a wire hooked up to him and most of his body was in a cast or wrapped in gauze. A ventilator was being used to help him breathe. My breathing quickened. I cause this. I saw his mother sitting at his side and she was holding his hand.

She looked up and saw me and stood up to come out.

"Edward…" She had unshed tears brimming on her eye lids. "He always thought you were his friend. Why I don't know." She knew everything apparently. If I had been her I would have beat me senseless. I wish some one would.

"I'm sorry Ms. Hale… I'm a bad person."

"Jasper never thought that. He always thought you to be the best friend in the world to him. I know that you two are more than friends and I also know that you two have been feuding a while. Just go away and let him have peace."

Leave Jasper? Just walk away when he needed me the most? Absurd.

"I can't do that."

"I'll have security escort you out then. I don't want to be the bad guy but for Jasper's sake..." She was right. There I was yet again butting into his life and wreaking havoc. I would have to go if there was anything good left inside of me.

"Ok, fine, but..just tell me how he's doing."

"He's shattered his legs and while that can heal, he's going to need loads of physical therapy. His skull was fractured and a few ribs were broken. They only scraped not punctured his lungs. He may never walk again from his back injury. There are just so many issues that he has and I don't think he can conquer them all."

Never walk. NEVER walk again. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"Just..tell him I stopped by when he gets better and that I'm really sorry. Tell him that I love him." I don't know what possessed me to say such a thing to his mother but that's the only way he would know I meant it. I had never told any one about my feelings for him. Hell I barely told him.

She nodded and then turned and went back in, resuming her position at his side.

Fuck. I knew they hardly had any money and paying for this bill would be hard. Hell they could have all the money in the world from my inheritance. I would give it all to his recovery. He deserved it. My dad would kill me but he did say at the age of 17 I was given the right to dip into it. So what if he would hate me. Besides he owed Jasper's mother for that crap he pulled. I didn't learn how to be a bastard on my own. I had one major bastard's help.

I grabbed my back pocket for my check book. Flipping it open I wrote on it an amount and signed. I lightly tapped on the glass and waved for his mother to come out. My heart was beating rapidly. I hope I didn't get kicked out any time soon for this time I would really be out on the street. I've been threatened with losing my inheritance many times before but to me, this wasn't losing it, but providing it to a good family. I would just have to find a job. Live pay check to pay check. I cringed. If that's what it took to prove that I was suffering and to gain forgiveness I would just have to grin and bear it.

"I thought I told you to leave." I ripped the flimsy piece of paper out of the check book and handed it to her with out a word. She eyed me suspiciously, taking it and reading the amount. She took a deep breathe and held a hand to her chest in shock. "Five million seven hundred and seventy-five thousand six hundred and ninety-two dollars?"

"Yea. I'm deeply sorry. Oh and go deposit in your account immediately before my father finds out. He won't be too happy about it." I left her there dumb founded.

Walking out into the cool night air from the stuffy hospital made me realize that I could be a nice guy. I could find a new way of living. I had to tell the truth and I had to be a better man. No more lying, no more getting people back. I had to be done with that life.

* * *

"Emmett. Do you have time?" He was drawing a sports car model he was going to build from scratch on a pad of paper. Looking up he waved me in.

"Hey, sup?" I sat in a chair farthest away from him.

"I was thinking on going good and being honest for a change." He chuckled in disbelief.

"You, honest? Yea, right. Ha."

"So, how are you and Rosalie doing?" He stopped sketching and put his pad down.

"We are doing fine now that the truth is out."

"About Jasper being gay? What does that have to do with it?"

"No, about you banging my girl in your room. Bribing her to get her to do it. That's fucking low of you Ed. And from my own brother. You really are our Father's son. I don't get why he tries to deny it."

That stung. It was true though. All of it.

"So when are you going to kick my ass?" I genuinely needed to know.

"I'm not." He took up the pad again and started to draw once more.

"Why not? I deserve it."

"That you do but I think you're dealing with enough. How's your boyfriend?" I watched a smirk spread across his face. So he knew.

"I'm not even going to ask how you figured that out and he's not my boyfriend any more. He's bad off."

"Yea, I heard on the news. Dad knows you're gay now too. Just so you know."

"He's going to kill me."

"Actually he's cool with it." He might as well have punched me in the gut a couple of times.

"How? Just a bit ago I was being shipped away. Now he's okay with it? There's something wrong with that man!"

"Tanya let it slip to every one tonight at dinner. You missed a hell of a fight. Dad thinks you and Tanya had some sort of affair. He accused her of not being pregnant with his kid. In a fit of rage she slapped him and said you couldn't possibly want her because you want Jasper. Then they argued about you being gay and her knowing before he did. Then he said he knew you would be the fruit of the family the way you spent nearly every waking moment with him. He said he has no issue as long as it doesn't leave this house." Emmett guffawed. "How did every one figure you to be the homo but me?"

I sat there in silence taking it all in as my brother continued.

"But hey it's OK to plug butts bro. Just, I don't want to see it or hear it." He was cracking himself up over there. Ha ha, funny. "Now Jasper I always felt had a feminine side to him, but you? YOU Edward Cullen the womanizer. I would have never guessed."

"How the hell are you not pissed about Rose?" I inquired.

"She was going through a rough time and I wasn't there for her. I shut her out." His voice turned serious. "I should've cared about her more. She tried to tell me what happened that night and I just couldn't hear it. I was being selfish. She sought out others because she felt I wasn't giving it to her. It's my fault she stepped out on me. I'm hurt though."

I shifted uncomfortably. I wasn't used to this serious side of him.

"We are going to do the counseling thing. Me and you though, enemies." He smiled at me and I laughed. "I'm going to give you hell every day, you know that right?"

I shook my head in disbelief. "Yup. I wouldn't expect less."

"Well I'm about to get ready for my date with Rose tonight. She's really why I didn't kick your ass. So you can thank her later through email or something." I nodded and getting up. "Oh, yea, one last thing."

I turned towards him.

"If you ever decide you don't pack fudge and want to go after clams, don't you even look at Rosalie or I'll kill you."

He said all that with a smile on his face and I nodded in understanding. This has got to be one of the strangest conversations I have ever had. My phone buzzed in my pocket when I closed his door. Grabbing it out, I flipped it open and aswered.

"Edward Cullen."

"Hello Edward, this is Jasper's mother. I was just calling to tell you thank you and that they might be taking off the ventilator in a few days since he is doing good with breathing on his own majority of the time. He might want to see you. I'll ask him."

"No, don't. If he wants to see me he will let me know. I don't want to be intrusive and I didn't give you my inheritance just to get my way. Thank you for the offer and.." I gathered all of my strength "wish him the best for me."

After quick goodbyes I hung up with her. It had to get better from here.

* * *

Every one was abuzz at school about the incident for the next few weeks. Lunch was intolerable. Every where I turned I could hear them talking about Jasper. Rumors were spreading about who the other man in the video could be. I came up a few times but then disproved because to every one I wasn't the gay type. I had too many females under me to be gay. According to them the most I was guilty of was of being a sex addict. If they only knew the real truth.

They even made gay jokes about him. He didn't deserve this shit.

"I'm the gay guy in the video." I said it loud enough so only a couple tables next to us could actually hear me. The chatter continued until I couldn't take it any more. Every word they said against him killed me inside and reminded me that I did this to Jasper.

"What the hell are you doing, bro? Dad's going to chop your head off." Emmett said more for my sake. I stood up and hopped from my chair to on top of the table.

"Listen up," I yelled until I got every one's attention. "I'm the gay guy in the video. I love Jasper. He was my boyfriend. Now shut the hell up about him." The whole room was so quiet not even a cricket would dare peep in here. I had done what I wanted.

Unfortunately, they would eventually start talking and I didn't know if I was quite ready for that. Forks was a tiny area. It would get around and quickly. Oh well, as long as they left Jasper alone. Bella looked at me from across the table and I sighed. It was all out now. Nothing would ever be normal again.


	9. Chapter 6

**Short Chappy.**

I rode home from school in silence in the back of Emmett's jeep. He watched me once in a while from his rear view mirror and tried to engage me in conversation but I didn't want to talk. How did I make such a mess of my life and so quickly? Just because I didn't want to admit that I 'pack fudge'. Alice smiled at me but I didn't return it. I wasn't in the mood to smile until I knew Jasper would be okay. It was finally hitting me what I had done.

"Dad's home." Alice said in her worried voice. "Are you ready for this?"

I didn't acknowledge her and as soon as we parked I exited the car. I was hoping Carlisle would throw me out. I didn't care any more. Tanya's car was gone so this was major. Usually if she was gone and he wasn't, that meant World War 2000 in this household. Every small detail meant something.

I turned the door knob just to check to see if the door was unlocked. It was. That was another bad sign. He was expecting me. That meant he actually had taken interest in knowing when I came home from school. I opened it and entered the house. It was mostly quiet, besides classical playing lightly in the background.

I turned and saw probably about twenty pieces of luggage to the right of me. So I was getting kicked out. I smirked. Alice gasped behind me and Emmett didn't say a word. That was a first. I walked up a few steps to my father's study. I didn't bother to knock before entering.

"Sit." He instructed me.

"I prefer to stand." He slammed down his medical book.

"Sit!" He said more insistent.

"Fine." I plopped down in the seat across from him.

"You are leaving this house. A taxi will come pick you up in less than an hour. I have boxed up all your things and soon no one will ever have heard of you." The venom in his voice didn't bother me.

"I don't care. You don't believe I'm your son any way, right, Dad?" I chuckled when he was taken aback by my boldness.

"Your mother would hate-" I didn't even give him the chance.

"My mother despised everything that you are now. My mother married you to get a better life for herself and her children since you were too pussy to commit she had to beg you to make an honest woman out of her. My mother never cheated on you because she loved you for who you were when she first met you and she hoped that maybe THAT Carlisle would come back to her. My mother waited for you to change and never dated only for you to get with that slut Tanya who yes I did sleep with and the baby is mine. My mother will be everything you will never be even dead, so don't you dare tell me what my mother would hate, because I already know. I'm just like you! You deny me but you can't." He got up to leave. Carlisle never liked to hear about himself but this was one day he wasn't walking out on me. I got up and slammed him back into his chair.

"Get your fucking faggot hands off me." His face was screwed up with disgust that he had to actually touch me to get my hand off his shoulder. I leaned over in front of him, bracing my hands on the side of his chair.

"No, you will sit here and listen to me. Look what you made, Dad. You made me just like you. Look at my face, I look just like you. Look at my eyes." My voice broke. "You made me this asshole of a man. I wasn't strong enough to be like Mom. I needed your love, I needed your support and you gave me nothing! Would it kill you to say you love me? Would it? You don't hit Alice or Emmett when you drink just me. You made me like this! I probably killed the one other person who had no problem telling me he cared or he loved me. The one thing I couldn't even get from my own Father. You destroy everything, just like I do. Send me away, I don't care but don't you ever in your life try to tell me again what my mother would hate."

By the end of that speech I was shaking like crazy. I backed up to give him a chance to go but he sat in his chair staring at me as if I was a six-headed beast. I had to get out of this room before I did something else I would regret later.

"You're not my son!" I heard him scream after me as I bolted out the door.

"Oh Edward, I'm sorry." Alice said, trying to stop me from leaving. "Don't go."

I turned my head towards her. "I can't stay here with that man. I'll kill him."

"But…" She trailed off at the look on my face. "I'm sorry I was the one who convinced Jasper to go after you. Since every one is sharing feelings and telling truths here. You should've come after me and not Jasper."

"I already knew that."

"He didn't enjoy being with me…He called it off because he couldn't stand to hurt you."

"I figured as much." I said losing some of my fight.

"You're better than Dad, Edward; you know when you lose it all. He doesn't." Alice hugged me to say good bye and I smiled at her. That made me one up on him at least.

"Bye Bro." Emmett and I did the manly hug and then began helping me move my luggage out.

* * *

"Oh God!" I exclaimed as I stood in front of a brown building. I thought it couldn't get worse than this. An older man greeted me and after shaking my hand ushered me inside.

"Welcome to Auburn Adventist Academy. You are a bit late in the year but we are still glad to have you." He smiled at me patting me on the back while I carried my two bags. "I'm Joe Thomaston and these young men are a few of your room mates." He pointed each one out to me as he went along. "They are Adam, Jonas, Blake, Corey, and Dillon. The other's just live in the dorm but I am sure you will be seeing them around since you have the same classes together."

I nodded to them even though I didn't want to.

"Get the rest of his bags boys." He said to them ushering me on. The other teens smiled at him and while he wasn't looking one of them flicked me off. I smirked, just like home. So Carlisle did not even want me visiting family to live, just straight to boarding school. I didn't know whether to laugh or go back and kick his ass for putting me here. At least it beat living with him or on the street. Well, for now.

We walked onward until we reached a room where he opened the door. It was plain white and boring. Great. I dumped my bags on the empty side of the small room and he handed me a paper.

"This is your schedule. Your Father picked out your courses." I looked it over trying not to cringe.

_**Government/Personal Law**_

_**Bible 12**_

_**English Writing: College Writing**_

_**English Elective: Speech**_

_**French 2**_

_**Anatomy and Physiology**_

_**Aquatics**_

_**Calculus**_

_**Psychology**_

_**Civil War / World War II**_

"Well Dinner is in 40 minutes. Your uniform is on the bed." With out another word he left.

A dorm. No, not just any dorm, a boarding school dorm where they wore ugly uniforms and had to follow crazy rules. Eat when told, shower when told, and go to school and take Bible 12. I almost puked. It's not that I didn't believe in God or that I never prayed; it was the fact that I would be forced to take it knowing I was gay.

Why did no one else have to wear that ugly as hell auburn shirt and tan slacks? None of the kids I saw today had them on. I looked up when Blake entered the room. Well, I think that was his name. I nodded to him and flicked him off. He laughed.

"Sorry about that, just didn't want to carry your heavy bags." I laughed too when I saw him breathing heavily as he sat them down. "We are only allowed enough to fit in one closet and a few dresser drawers but there's storage so I instructed them to put the rest of your things in there."

"Yup." I said looking over my hell hole for the next few months.

* * *

I checked my phone and noticed I had a missed call. Reception was horrible up here. I'm sure that didn't go beyond Carlisle's notice when he picked this place. I rolled my eyes. I walked from one end of the room to the other trying to find enough to let me check my messages. I walked by the window. Ah got one measly service bar.

I hit the voicemail button.

_Hello Edward, this is Jasper's mother. I've tried calling you for the past seven days but it seems like it would go straight to voicemail. I didn't want to leave a voicemail then because it wasn't really important. Jasper's awake as of a few hours ago now and off the ventilator. I'm very happy about that as I am sure you will be. He doesn't want to see you. I know you said don't ask but I needed to. I haven't told him about the money yet and I don't think I will. Oh, well they just said I have 30 seconds left to leave a message so goodbye._

My eyes closed as I ended the call. I knew he wouldn't so why did I have this hope that he would miraculously forgive me and invite me back into his life with open arms. I knew it wouldn't work that way. It never did. I heard the door creak open and I turned trying to hide my phone.

"Relax, it's just me. But if you're going to use that you should go into the restroom. Better reception, less chance of getting caught."

I nodded, slipping it back in my pocket.

"You've been here a week and you still don't talk to any one. What's your deal?" He waited but I didn't say anything. "Well, my dad sent me here because he's a looney old coot who thinks his son should have 'intelligence and prestige'." He laughed at his own imitation of his father. "Are you mute or something? I used to be. Too much trauma. Is that your deal?"

"No." Was my singular reply. I wanted to talk and open up but what would the purpose be of that?

"Hmm, okay. Well good night." He hopped in his bed and was sleep in no time. Lucky bastard. Sleep didn't come that easy to me any more.

I walked in to the rest room and took out a picture of Jasper and I. He was kissing my cheek. I smiled at it, those were the good times. I locked the door and quickly stuffed it back in my wallet. I took out the more risqué one I printed from my email. It was one of my birthday presents. He was stroking himself with his eyes hooded licking his lips. I was supposed to destroy them all but I never did.

I dropped my pants and leaned against the door. I really needed to stop doing this. He was lost to me. I should just move on and go back to girls, or just get with another guy. I stroked myself angrily my head against the wall, stifling a groan. It felt so good. I looked down at the picture, trying to imagine Jasper giving me a blow job.

I was so close to cumming. I stopped a second to roll out some tissue so I wouldn't make a mess, then resumed. I took one last peek at Jasper's picture and then I started to go. My muscles in my stomach and legs tightened to keep me up right. Mid orgasm I dropped his picture. I cupped the head of my penis with the tissue and spewed into it.

Cleaning up I zipped my pants up and discarded the tissue in the toilet and flushed. Turning on the water in the sink, I got some soap, and began cleaning my hands. Was this what I was left to do. Jack off to a picture of my ex-boyfriend. I sighed. Just then the door opened.

"Hey, Edward, are you done here? I have to whiz." At the same time I noticed the picture was by his foot, he did too. Bending down I watched him pick it up. Fuck. "This yours?"

"Nah, man. Didn't even notice it. What is it?" I tried to sound convincing.

"A picture of some naked guy buttering his bread. I have to show the guys." Fuck me.

"Corey, give me my picture back." I don't know why I was so bold but what did I have to lose?

"This is yours?" His eyes went wide.

"Yea, now give it back to me before I kick your ass." I made a move towards him but he held his hand out.

"Nice choice. He's hot." He said grinning at me like a Cheshire cat.

I took the picture and rushed out the restroom. Was he gay or was he just fucking with me? Well, whichever, he wasn't lying. Jasper was a hot piece. I wanted to call to check on him but the hospital always told me they couldn't give any info out over the phone. I would just have to wait for an update.


	10. Another Contest winner!

**CONTEST WINNER IS Shesadreamer. You won a $25 gift card. Message me with your details!**

**Also, every one, I have a new and better paying position at work and no longer sit at a desk all day :) and computer at home is down and in the shop. When it is up I will proceed with my stories. Sorry all.**

**TwilighterObsessed**


	11. Author's Note

**A/N: I am losing inspiration for all of my stories, I'm saddened to say. I work so much and have such a hectic life style now a days, coupled with no computer connected to the internet. I used to love to read all my reviews and I really don't get any due to my gaps in updates. It is killing me. I think because of that, I have no heart in it to write any more. I don't want to abandon my babies but I hope I won't have to make that choice :-/ I have a few new chapters but I am doing this all from my phone and I had my USB cord stolen so unable to upload it via that. I promise I will try my best not to let any one down. It just might take a while. Sigh.**

**TwilighterObsessed**


	12. Chapter 7

**A/N: The next few chapters are going to go through his days at the school and then to life outside of school. I hope its not too boring : )**

It felt like forever in this place and as the days went by it became more weird. I met a girl at one of the school dances. It was similar to what a prom would be like. Except at this prom I would have asked Jasper instead of going alone. Her name was Jessie Isabella Hamilton and she sort of looked like Bella in ways but non-similar in others. She wore glasses and was very quiet. I could tell she liked me on how much she followed me that night. I had to avoid her as much as possible. It was like I was stuck in an alternate universe,

I also tried to dodge that Corey guy as much as possible. From what I knew he hadn't told any one the fact that I could be gay. He stared at me often when I did see him though. He would be the closest look alike to Jasper that I probably could ever find. I'm surprised I hadn't noticed before. When he wasn't looking I would stare back.

He was originally from Florida so his voice had a slight drawl and as deep. His hair was just like Jasper's, style and color. His eyes were so bright they popped. A nice blue hue that could leave any girl breathless, or guy for that matter. He was very muscular. When some of the students played basketball out on the court he always took off his shirt. I admired his sinewy figure from afar. God had to put him here to torture me for what I had done.

Today was tag football and I wasn't in the mood for playing. The moment I saw my room mate, Blake, I knew he would ask. They needed one more member. I sighed and put down my book. It held my phone in it secretly. I would carry it around all the time hoping that I would get a call that never came.

"Hey bro, wanna play?" He motioned towards the team.

"Who's side am I on?" I asked, eyeing the J.H. wanna-be.

"Mine of course." He chuckled, turning to see who I was staring down.

"I'm in." Time to kick some ass.

We were up by seven points and I was sure we weren't going to be losing. I ran ahead for the ball, yelling "I'm open." One more touchdown and it would end the game. I jumped up, caught the ball, and ran as fast as I could. I was almost there when a blur crashed into me. The pain was unbelievable due to no padding. I rolled with the idiot, groaning as my ribs began to ache. I was forced flat on my back, my head colliding with the soft dirt.

I blinked my sight back into focus. Corey was on top of me, looking in my face. I growled and tossed him off me roughly, ignoring that I had a boner. A fact that didn't go past his notice. By the time the others caught up to us it was gone.

"Shit. What the hell Corey?" Blake went up to him and pushed him. Corey's hands went up backing down. "This isn't real football."

"I wasn't thinking." He explained scratching his head.

"Do you ever?" Blake rolled his eyes, grabbing my hand to pull me up. I dusted my clothing off, a bit annoyed that my fairly new outfit was now ruined. I gave dumb fuck a death glare and stormed off forgetting my book behind.

* * *

Snatching the towel off the rack, I scrubbed my hair, still in pissed off mode. I slammed the door to the bathroom with a huff. I hated that mother fucker. I eyed my side and noticed a bruise springing up across my ribs. If I could punch that mop-headed freak I would. After my hair was dry I started on my body. I didn't even take the time to realize that some one else was in the room.

"Yo. You could cover that beast up." I froze whipping a towel around my nakedness.

"That better not be who I think it is. If so, get the hell out before I get kicked out of this place." I grounded out, my fists clenching.

He snorted in laughter. "Calm down man. I was just returning your book and phone." I turned to face him then. I must have forgotten it on the field. I looked at him apologetically until I realized he was going through my things.

"What the hell? What are you looking at?" I rushed to my bed but Corey quickly got up, playing keep away.

"Ooh man, he's hot. What's his name?" He skittered to my left.

"Jasper. Now give my goddamn phone back." I lunged for him again and this time he yanked off my towel while ducking. He dangled my phone and towel out and laughed like a school girl. "Fucking crazy fag." At that he stopped and frowned. I took that time to snatch both items. "Got you." I hissed, re-wrapping it around my waist. I watched him sit on my bed, head dangling. His shoulders slightly shaking. What just happened? I sat next to him. "Shit, look I'm sorry, I just knew you would give me back my stuff if I said that."

I sighed. It was sad. I couldn't even bear to hurt the Jasper look alike. That was why I was really so mad. He reminded me of him, yet Corey was so much bolder. Just as that thought crossed my mind he turned and kissed me. My eyes opened wider as his full warm lips slid over mine. I hadn't kissed any one since… The pressure roughened and before I knew it I was being straddled by the guy as his tongue plundered my mouth. I wasn't even sure why my tongue started playing along. A small moan escaped his mouth as my lips finally responded. His hand clenched in my hair. I hated the fact that I got an erection when my mind was screaming for me to end this shit. I could feel his probing my stomach when he shifted his hips, humping me.

I was stunned when we broke apart and Corey ripped his shirt over his head. He had the same skin tone and muscle definition as Jasper. Fuck. Me. I came undone. Grabbing the back of his neck , I pulled him in for another kiss. His hands were under my towel, massaging just below my towel line. I shouldn't be doing this now, my mind tried to reason. My lip was sucked into the other party's mouth. I growled and turning, threw him on the bed. He bounced slightly, but I watched as he shimmied out of his pants. He went commando. I smirked.

My penis was straining against the somewhat tight cotton confines and I tossed it aside. I realized it had been far too long since I had a warm body. I wanted to feel someone under me, writhing, begging me for more, saying how much they want me, and most of all, loving what I was doing to them. Or maybe loving me. I cringed. It was just sex. I watched him rip open a condom he must have pulled from his pants pocket before lowering them.

I took it from him and hastily sheathed myself in the slick rubber. I draped myself over him once again and resumed our passionate kissing. He made me hate him even more when I caught the bliss on his face. His moan vibrated in my mouth. Our aching penises rubbed together. What was I doing? Was I that much of a man whore that when the first guy to show me a bit of attention came along I would jump his bones? Jasper was so right about me.

It felt good though. To be needed. Jasper did not need me and this guy, Corey, he did and I barely had a few conversations with him. My heart ached. I couldn't do this. Sensing my hesitation I felt warm hands grip my ass and legs wrap around my waist. Jesus. Too long, too long. I was pushed and pulled in a rhythm against his pre-cumming member. His head tossed back in a gasp. His lip was between his teeth and in that moment I saw Jasper.

"Fuck." I scooted back, trying to untangle myself. "I can't."

Furiously the boys eyes popped open. "You just wasted my condom. I could have used it on someone else you know. I only have five left!" I was being used. What remained of my hard on dissipated. "You are gay right?" I shrugged. "Just get on with it."

Before I realized it I had deposited him outside butt-naked with his used condom and his clothing. I heard him running off before he was seen. Tears brimmed in my eyes. So I had officially traded places with Jasper. Going to the closet, I snatched out a pair of pajama pants. After putting them on, I flopped down on my back on the bed. I hate you, I inwardly said to my penis. And with a growl I turned over and tried to get sleep.

* * *

Beep! Beep! Beep!

"Engph" I moaned, rolling to grab my phone. Where the hell was it.

Beep! Beep! Beep!

I heard Blake groan on the other side of the room. I ran my hand over my face before searching the floor. I patted down the side before reaching under it.

Beep! Beep! Beep!

Found it. Flipping it open I read the text.

_Bro, been shit with out you. Call me sometime. Alice misses you. Rose and I broke up. Found out Jasper is at a rehab clinic for spinal injuries. Call me fucker. I need some brotherly love and not that homo stuff. - Em_

I snickered. You're going to have to wait. I pulled the cover over my head and slept.

* * *

Morning came too soon. It felt like I had just blinked and it was time to get up. I rolled over to find Blake already awake and dressed. He was texting on his phone with a stupid grin on his face. I snickered. Whoever he was talking to was lighting up his life, I quickly scanned over his noticeable hard on, in both accounts. He shifted subconsciously into a new position, throwing his pillow over himself. I audibly laughed then and he cast me a glare which caused me to throw my hands up as I stood.

He smirked back at me, and I shook my head still slightly cracking up as I entered the restroom. I relieved myself and then washed my hands. I started thinking about yesterday. If that happened to me today, I don't think I could say no. I sighed, my will was waning.

I didn't bother taking a shower since I took one last night. After staring in the mirror, which felt like for ages, I opened the medicine cabinet and took out my toothpaste, toothbrush, mouthwash, and floss. I was very anal about my teeth now. Probably stress.

After finishing up, I went and grabbed some clothes. Blake was already gone, so I just stripped and got dressed there. I slipped on my shoes, and ran my fingers through my hair. Another day of hell. I grabbed my books and headed down for breakfast.

The food was oddly good today. I sat across from carrot-top head again. He averted his gaze and I shoved some scrambled egg in my mouth. I detested him more now than I did the other day. He reminded me so much of Jasper it was seriously starting to piss me off. I wanted to flatten his face into the pavement outside.

Blake noticed our eye war and nudged me.

"What's up with you two?" He whispered.

I shrugged. "I just hate that guy."

"Heh, yeah, we used to be friends until he tried to get with my girlfriend." I snickered. That guy was so gay. No way did he even like chicks.

"That's messed up."

"It was. We all used to be best friends back home. He lived with my family because he came from an abusive home and my family fostered kids. Until my dad was murdered anyway. After that we were both sent here by my Mother. She was a bitch apparently. Had me fooled. I can't wait to get out of this incarcerated state." He sighed and I kind of felt bad for him. His thoughts were undoubtedly taking him down memory lane.

"My dad sent me here. He thought that he could erase me from his memory if I were away. You have any siblings?"

"Yup. A bunch." His voice was saddened a bit.

"They here too?"

"Nope." I left him alone after that.

* * *

"And that is why gay marriage is an abomination." Collin stated after he read his report.

"Maybe that sweater your mother made you is an abomination." I chimed in, feeling some what irritated as to what he was saying. A few people laughed at him and he glared at me.

"Well class, lets open this up into a debate shall we. Collin you presented your facts well about why gay marriage isn't right with God. Any one else?" Mr. Hunter smiled. I hated this Bible 12 class.

I raised my hand. The teacher nodded.

"I feel some people hold the Traditional view simply because it is just that, traditional. Church tradition can be wrong whether you think so or not."

"God's word is never wrong." Collin huffed. Jesus-freak.

"Astronomers challenged the traditional interpretations of 1 Chronicles 16:30 and Psalm 104:5. Tradition also thought that interracial relationships were wrong. But they aren't."

"Our bodies were designed for heterosexuality. We have to procreate." He quipped. "God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve nor Amanda and Eve!"

I rolled my eyes. "I'm not arguing that he created us with heterosexuality in mind. I'm just saying does that really mean that using our bodies in any other way is wrong? God designed us to talk, to hear, to see. There are plenty of people who are deaf. They use sign language to communicate. Our hands were not primarily supposed to be used for that and I doubt any of you would see that as wrong. If we went by that basis nothing would be right. If anything becomes sinful because it wasn't designed for that then we would be still walking around and not using bicycles or cars. As far as procreation, what about couples who can't have children due to being infertile. Is that sinful? Sex is meant to be enjoyed because it bonds you 1 Corinthians 6:16." I smirked. "Also, doesn't it say some where in the bible that 'thou shalt not pass judgment'?" The look on the boys face was priceless.

"Are you coming out to the class Edward?" Collin lashed out. Every one gasped besides Blake who just laughed at his psychoanalysis.

"Are you?" I said pissed off. "You're the one promoting gay hate bullshit which is not even what a godly person as yourself should be doing. It makes me wonder if you have some self hate issues going on. Like the fact that you wear that polka dot tie and clean crisp white shirt with a green sweater vest. Now that's the real atrocity here!" Every one snickered. OK heh, maybe that was a little coming out. Great one Ed, talk about his clothing choices.

"Edward, Dean's office. Now. You can not use that kind of language here." The teacher sternly stated. I could tell he was taking the other boys side.

"Whatever. I really don't give a shit. I didn't want to be in this fucking class anyway. FUCK THIS SCHOOL!"

I grabbed my books and stormed out the room, slamming the door behind me. Maybe what he had said really was getting to me. I accepted for once, truly accepted that I was gay. I closed my eyes against the onslaught of Jasper and I and how I messed it all up by denying that fact. I had to get home soon and make it right.

* * *

"Come in." The Dean ushered me inside and I watched him take a seat. "Mr. Cullen, I have called your father and informed him of what happened today and he told us to throw the book at you. I for one, do not believe in those tactics." He smiled at me, leaning forward and folding his hands together. "But I do not believe in insubordination either." His smile faded.

"Yes, sir." I shifted nervously.

"A weeks worth of activities will be taken away and you will have more chores than normal. You will have window washing added to your trash duties for your hall." Is that it? I almost laughed. "Also, you will have to stay in your room after hours unless it is study group times. At all times. I know you have had a few months with us, but I am trying to show you some leniency here. Please do not disappoint me." My face fell. "Also, hand over your cell phone."

"I don't have a cell phone, sir." I blatantly lied.

"Mr. Cullen, I've seen you checking it. I wasn't going to say anything because I wanted to believe you would prosper but keeping you connected to your home life is causing problems here. Now please, before I have to do anything else, hand me your cell phone. You have one more month left with us. Make it a happy one." He held his hand out.

With out a word I reached in my pocket and retrieved it but then a thought flew through my head.

"Sir, may I just text my mom and let her know I will no longer have my phone?" He nodded. "Thank you."

_Em, get me the fuck out of here. Figure out a way. This is fucking prison. - Ed_

I powered down my phone and handed it to him. In turn, he placed it in his desk.

"You may go now."

My head hung low as I stood up. My will had just snapped and I was close to tears. That was the last thing I had that was even remotely close to Jasper. I hadn't heard from his mother in quite a while but she could call. I mean, right? Maybe I should just let it go and face the fact that he's no longer interested. I sighed and walked somberly to my room.

**Ending A/N. Nooooooow Review plz! And here is a new chapter preview. I don't know why but I like doing these things! Do you dislike or like?**

_It had been a week since I had sent that text to Emmett and every day since I packed up my things every night in hopes he could spring me. I waited up all night just to see a car wind up the road, but every time I was met only with darkness. I tried to tell myself it would get better. Regardless, I knew it was inevitable that my depression was coming. I had three more weeks of this hell hole. Phone less, privilege less, loveless, boring existence. I scrubbed the windows, watching the sudsy water drip down in rivulets. My tears flowed just as freely. It was one of the few times I have ever cried in public._

_It was odd how strong I was, yet how weak I could be when I didn't have power. This horrendous time in my life was giving me incredible insight about myself. I fucked up. I always fucked up. I messed up my home life because I was being stubborn. Carlisle deserved everything that I had told him, and much more, but couldn't I have waited? Honestly, I would have moved out in a couple of months. What really was even keeping me there? I had a tiny amount of money, I could have left. I was starting to realize I could possibly love the self-torture. _

_I was hurting myself because I never let myself grieve. I missed my mother so very much. She had been everything to me. The world was better for her being in it. She was the most sweetest and kindest person I had ever known and she had left me. It wasn't her fault really, she was ill. I should just accept that and move on. I stayed bitter and corrupted myself; and my heart, Jasper. She didn't want to leave me, I know she didn't. _

_I began drying off the window and my tears, letting the sun shine through. It was a bright day today, and I smiled. In a way, washing this window was a symbol for my life. It was dirty, blocking life's essence, and all I had to do was clean it up, and everything would be good again. I chuckled, I was so gay. I was getting in touch with my feminine side for sure with all these emotional quips._

"_What are you laughing at Cullen?" Collin said, kicking my bucket of water, sloshing some onto the carpet before I picked it up._

"_Bite me." I said simply as I moved it down the hall to the next window. _

"_I believe that is something you would like for your boyfriend to do, correct?" He sarcastically flung at me. I gritted my teeth. For fucks sake, this Jesus freak was annoying._

"_Nope. I don't have a boyfriend."_

_He smiled. "I'm quite sure. Well, there is another more urgent job for you to do."_

"_Which would be?" I asked unenthused as I scrubbed._

"_The Dean told me to tell you that you need to clean out the supply closet ASAP."_

"_Which one?" I threw my rag into the bucket of water. He was torturing me for sure._

"_I'll show you."_


End file.
